Talking to parents and adults

Being able to discuss topics like sexual health and relationships with your parents or other adults in your life can be really important to ensure you have the right support system. However, it's not always easy to start these conversations! Here is some information that may be helpful as you navigate these conversations.

Some Tips

Show your anger in a way that will get what you want, rather than make things worse. 

Fighting or yelling can just lead to endless arguments. Instead, try to figure out what you’re feeling and name it. This is hard for everyone, but instead of snapping, try saying “I’m feeling really hurt that you are doing...” or “I wish I could....” 

You deserve your own space.

If you feel yourself getting really upset when talking with parents or adults who are frustrating you, try taking a few deep breaths and returning to the conversation later.  If you have trouble making others understand how you feel, you could try writing an honest letter or email, or making bullet points so you don’t forget when you start talking.  Setting boundaries for your family can be helpful, like “no yelling before school” or “no bringing up grades during dinner.” 

Calming techniques to stay in control of your emotions: 

Listening to music

Facetiming a friend 

Going for a walk 

Watching Netflix 

Guided meditation on the Calm app 

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Sometimes you are caught in a bad situation that is not your fault. It’s okay to accept that you can’t change

it all by yourself.  

If you are worried home isn’t safe anymore, try reading this. 

 

You can always call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or you can chat online here

Talking to parents and adults about sex

It’s normal to have lots of questions about your body or about sex or relationships. Trusted adults who love you, like parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, are a good place to start finding answers. They used to be teenagers too, and hopefully, will be happy to help you. Studies have shown that teens who talk to their guardians about all subjects tend to have healthier sex lives and better moods. However, sometimes it can feel awkward to start the conversation yourself. 

Sometimes, a parent might not be the best person to talk to if you are afraid that they won't listen, or will react badly. Try to identify another trusted adult you can talk to: an older sibling, aunt/uncle, grandparent, or teacher. 

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For even more tips, check out this site.

 

If you’re worried that your trusted adult won’t know how to respond, there are lots of websites and classes that can teach them how to better communicate with you. You can show them the Violet website, or other websites like this one.

If you’re afraid for your safety when coming out to your parents about your sexuality, you can always call the Gay & Lesbian National Hotline at 1-888-843-4564 or chat online.